


P.S. I Love You

by WolfstarGarden



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bands, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2019-01-16 00:47:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12332121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfstarGarden/pseuds/WolfstarGarden
Summary: "Sirius' eyes snapped up and bored into Remus’. “You wrote this?” he asked."Remus' new song is driving Sirius insane. He can't rest until he knows who Remus wrote it for.





	P.S. I Love You

**Author's Note:**

> I figured I needed to try out the Band!AU. So here it is, inspired by the the HIMYM episode. I'm only kinda okay with it but wanna wrap up my WIPs before NaNo starts. Please enjoy this bit of fluff and nonsense.

James glanced up, a strange gleam in his hazel eyes. “Remus... mate, I can’t sing this.”

Remus frowned at the pages scattered across the table. “That bad, huh?” he asked mildly. Secretly, he was glad. The song was not like the work he usually wrote. He was utterly embarrassed by the maudlin, raw emotion he’d let spill onto the page.

“It’s not bad ... it’s brilliant. But _I_ can’t sing it,” James said, dragging his glasses off his face. He rasped a palm over his skin. “ _You_ need to sing it. Right?”

Peter squinted at the notes. “Yeah, I guess. It would suit your voice better.”

“Unplugged,” James added, slapping Peter’s shoulder. They both turned to look at Sirius, who was still rifling through Remus’ latest song. “Opinion, Padfoot? You’re usually full of them.”

Sirius licked his lips, but ignored James. Instead, his eyes snapped up and bored into Remus’. “You wrote this?” he asked. His voice was odd. Remus shivered, looking away. It wouldn’t do for Sirius to see the truth in his eyes. He never should have written the damned song about him.

“Yeah,” he shrugged, glad of his habitual mildness. Sirius scowled and glanced at their band mates. Peter was tapping out a beat with his fingers, no longer paying attention. James was still eyeing Remus. He flicked an eyebrow in question, but James didn’t react. He changed tact. “Well, I’m no singer, Prongs.”

James and Peter laughed in his face. Remus squirmed uncomfortably, glancing at Sirius. His face was as black as his name, and he turned away, arms crossed tight, hair falling into his face. A stone dropped onto Remus’ heart, heavy, knocking him off his footing. Were the lyrics so obvious? Did Sirius _know_? Oh, fuck.

“There’s a reason you do our harmonies, Moony,” Peter said, thumping his shoulder.

James was still laughing, eyes glittering with joyful mischief as he watched Remus growing more and more uncomfortable. “You’re every bit as good as I am, Remus. Unless there’s another reason you’re, uh ... reluctant?”

Remus snatched the pages up, taking one last surreptitious glance at Sirius’ surly back. Grumbling, he stalked abruptly away. “I wish I’d never written the blasted thing.”

l-l

“Wow. Didn’t know Remus had something like that in him,” Lily said when James showed her the song. His fiancée was The Marauders band manager. She looked suitably impressed. “This is definitely going to help sales. We need it.”

James smiled indulgently, stroking her hair idly. “There’s nothing wrong with our sales. We’re right where we want to be. D’you reckon Moony had someone in mind when he wrote this?”

Lily’s eyes skimmed the first verse, following the melody as well as the lyrics. “It certainly reads like it. Huh, and I always thought Remus wasn’t interested in romance.”

“Remus is a deep, still well. And like a well, nobody can see what’s inside until they rip it out with a bucket.”

Lily gave James an incredulous look.

James offered her an abashed smile. “Okay, not a great metaphor, but you know what I mean! Trust me, I’ve known him since school and I know whereof I speak.” James leaned forward with a conspiring glimmer, and Lily grinned at the prospect of gossip. “But not only that … I know who the song’s about.”

“You do?” Lily licked her lips. “You’ve gotta tell me!”

“Yeah … I don’t think so. After all, it’s not my secret to tell.”

Lily opened her mouth to argue then paused, face creasing. “You’re probably right. But … just look at the words. Whoever inspired this song … Moony must really think a lot of them.”

An angry clatter announced Sirius’ arrival home. He and James had been roommates since leaving school. A moment later the tall man had entered the sitting room where James and Lily were lounging. “Yeah, I wouldn’t mind knowing who this mystery person is, either.  How the hell does Remus fucking Lupin get that gooey over someone without telling us about it?”

James grinned broadly. He could tell that until – if – Remus revealed the muse of his latest song or, miracle of miracles, Sirius figured it out, he was going to be having a lot of fun. So he didn’t answer as Sirius flopped into an armchair across from them. Beneath his hair his expression was moody and miserable.

“That’s Remus though, isn’t it? He’s all secrets,” Lily said. “So you have no idea either then?”

Sirius shook his head. “I can’t even tell if it’s a man or a woman! When did he meet this person? When did he have an opportunity to fall in love? Nah … it must just be a coincidence, right?”

“I dunno…” Lily murmured. James studied Sirius’ face. “That level of emotion … it’s hard to portray that if you’ve never felt it. What was he like when he sang it?” Lily turned to James.

He kept his eyes firmly on Sirius when he said, “Reverent.”

The drummer’s face darkened. Lily pushed her hair back and said, “Well then. He’s definitely in love with someone. Going by the lyrics, it seems it’s unrequited though. Poor Moony.”

James shrugged. “Oh, I dunno. There might be some hope there.”

Two sets of eyes snapped onto him. “D’you know who it’s about?” Sirius demanded.

James half-grinned, shrugging. “I have an idea. No proof though, so no, I will not tell you who I think it is.”

Sirius bit his thumb knuckle roughly and slouched deep in his chair. “If I only had some idea … I’m gonna talk to a few people, somebody must know. You don’t think it’s Dora, do you?”

James arched his brows, swallowing a smile. Sirius’ jealous oblivion was just too tasty. “No, Sirius. Judging by the way your cousin drools after him and Moony politely turns her down every time … no, I don’t think ‘ _P.S I Love You_ ’ is about Dora.”

“Hm.”

Lily looked thoughtful. “Sirius has a point though. When does Remus meet with people outside the band and management? Besides, most of the people we know are already in relationships – _unless_ that’s the reason he’s not acting on it. Because the person is taken? Ooh, maybe it’s Caradoc!”

Sirius snorted. “Yeah, but when would Remus have seen him … what does the song say? _Lost in blissful surrender, asleep in trusting perfection_?”

James stood, brushing both hands down his trouser-clad thighs brusquely. “Never without Fabian underneath him.”

Lily looked at him, green eyes bright. “Have you seen that?”

James bent down and kissed her. “Oh yes.”

“I’m jealous,” she teased.

James straightened again, blinking at Sirius. “If you really want to know who the song’s about, Padfoot, why don’t you just ask Remus?”

l-l

James and Lily were both keen to get _P.S. I Love You_ recorded. With Sirius acting steadily odder around him, Remus was glad to have the distraction of work. James helped him fine-tune the music, transferring it from a basic phrase into a fully harmonized acoustic piece.

Remus was struggling to see Sirius’ so agitated and uncomfortable around him. Somehow it hurt even more than years of yearning. James on the other hand seemed cheerier than ever, humming to some private joke.

They were in the studio. Remus swigged his water, strumming idly at his guitar strings. James noticed more than most – and luckily, since Lily was as oblivious and unobservant as a body could be. James must know that _P.S. I Love You_ was about Sirius. He asked the question he didn’t really want answered. “Sirius knows, doesn’t he?”

James glanced up from the music sheet he was adjusting. “What? Oh no, Sirius doesn’t have a fucking clue. That’s why he’s being so weird.”

They’d never discussed this. They’d never needed to – Remus knew that James was aware of his feelings. Amused, he queried, “But you know, right?”

James chortled. “Mate, I’ve known for fucking _years_. Honestly, I was beginning to wonder if you would ever admit to it.”

Remus huffed a breath and put his guitar down. “I hoped it would pass.” He rubbed a hand through his shaggy curls. “But it never did.  I just … wanted to get it _out_ of me. Shit, is it going to ruin us?”

“We-ell,” James mused, putting his pen down and tipping his chair back on two legs. He studied Remus gently. “It depends on for how long Sirius wants to act like a twat. See Moony, he’s going absolutely batty trying to figure out who you’re hard for.”

Remus glanced over, dropping his hand. A slow smile split his worry. “You’re loving this, aren’t you?”

James grinned. “Oh, I really am. Moony, I’m the only one who knows. This is better than Christmas!”

“You little sadist,” Remus grinned. James laughed, reaching over to clap Remus’ hand.

“Shall I put you both out of your misery?”

Remus sighed, his laughter dying on his lips. “Misery might be the closest I ever get.”

“Why didn’t you write that into the song? Make a nice happy ending to your romantic outpouring.”

Remus eyed him wryly. “Oh, I considered it. The song was almost an angst-ridden nightmare.”

“My poor fuzzy Moony. I did notice the third verse touches on that. _Every star in the sky reminds me of you, wherever I go I start thinking of you, the voice of my heart begs me tell you, p.s. I love you_. Your angst is going to sell us a lot of albums, Moony.”

“Well, I suppose someone should benefit from it. It hasn’t done me much good all these years.” Remus almost sounded bitter. James watched him sympathetically and Remus was comforted by his quiet support. Suddenly James’ earlier words hit him. “Prongs … why is Sirius flipping out if he doesn’t know the song’s about him?”

 “Ah,” James said. “Well Moony, he hasn’t disclosed that reasoning to me. But I think it’s pretty self-explanatory, isn’t it?”

Remus sucked a deep breath; it did nothing to soothe his pounding heart. He paused for a long, long moment, frowning. He asked quietly, “Are you sure?”

James’ hand tightened over his and his voice was soft and serious. “I wouldn’t tease you about this Moony. I’ve been waiting since school for you two to sort this shit out. The way you were then … the way you are _now_ , flirting on stage and falling asleep on each other… Honestly Moony, I’d often wondered if you were together on the down low.”

Remus’  gazed at him, hardly daring to hope. “You think it’s been the same for him … all this time?”

James shrugged. “Sirius likes to pout. He thinks it makes him look handsome and mysterious even though it really just makes him look like a spoiled toff. But … you should have seen the look on his face when he asked me if the song was about his cousin Dora.”

Remus choked on his water. “She’s too young!”

James laughed. “Like it matters. I know you, Moony. You can’t see past Sirius.”

Remus cast his eyes down. “I really can’t.” after a moment he looked back up and admitted, “I really don’t want to.”

 “Tell him, then. I really don’t think you’ll be disappointed.”

l-l

Remus watched Sirius for days, assessing his moody stand-offish behavior, the quiet simmer of his grey eyes when their gazes met. Sirius watched everyone else with poorly veiled suspicion. A strange hurt pinched the corners of his heavy, puppy-dog eyes, fierce jealousy burning in the lines of his face.

Seeing it finally, with the knowledge James had given him, didn’t help Remus figure out how to approach Sirius and confess. His best chance would be in the studio, when Sirius came in to record the percussion for _P.S. I Love You_. Peter would be there as well though, replacing his synthesizer with gentle piano chords.

James knew that Remus and Sirius hadn’t spoken yet. So Remus was convinced it was deliberate when he called Peter aside after the recording, looping an arm around him and steering him away, the rest of the crew behind them. Remus and Sirius were alone in the booth.

The air between them was tense. Remus cleared his throat, stumbling for words. “Uh, alright, mate? Haven’t seen much of you lately.”

Sirius glanced at him, eyes dark and angry. His mouth was sulky, but a sudden resolve seemed to grip him. Sirius straightened, giving Remus a frank look. He blurted, “How could you write a song like this without telling me who it’s about? Goddamn it Moony, I thought we trusted each other enough not to have secrets!”

Remus sank into his stiff wooden chair, leaning his guitar against the side. “Sirius…”

“I’ve asked fucking everyone! Nobody will tell me who it is – and it has to be _someone_ , that sort of feeling doesn’t come from nowhere.”

Remus felt queasy. “You’ve asked everyone?”

“I had to know, and you wouldn’t say,” Sirius growled, stepping closer. His bravado was put on, Remus could see it. Sirius always lashed out when he was hurting.

“You never asked me,” Remus pointed out. He looked up and met Sirius’ eyes. His friend faltered. “Maybe you didn’t really want to know.”

Emotions warred across Sirius’ face. Then, in a movement so fast Remus couldn’t follow it, Sirius dropped to his knees and grabbed Remus’ collar, hauling him close and kissing him. It was fierce and desperate, filled with burning longing. Drumsticks rattled as they hit the floor. Remus was too startled to do anything, and then Sirius pulled away. His breath was ragged and heavy. “Maybe I didn’t,” he finally mumbled, staring blankly at Remus’ knees.

Remus gasped for air, astonished. His heart throbbed against his ribs. “Sirius…”

Grey eyes gleamed painfully up at him. “Don’t tell me, I can’t bear it. Fuck, sorry Remus…” Sirius licked his lips and made to move away.

Remus grabbed his shoulder violently. “Sirius … _P.S. I Love You_ … it’s about _you_ , you fucking idiot.”

Sirius boggled. He was silent for a long time while Remus sat, his thrumming heart held painfully between his teeth. Sirius eventually whispered, “…really?”

“Yes, really.”

“Fuck … ugh, I feel like a dick now. I’ve harassed everyone we know for days!” They laughed together and Remus was glad – this felt like normal again, the simple rightness of their friendship, the awkwardness gone. Sirius’ fingers were still twisted in Remus’ shirt. He looked remarkably pensive, cheeks flushed. “Remus … you really wrote those words about me?”

Remus nodded, sliding his hand slowly down Sirius’ arm, tracing the curves of his bicep admiringly. “Yeah.”

“Moony … how long?”

“Too long,” Remus sighed, tracking his hand back up, fingertips slowly tracing the delicate column of his neck, resting gently against his jaw. Sirius quivered under his touch. “Since school.”

“Fuck, why did you wait so long?”

“Padfoot, if you hadn’t just kissed me I’d still be waiting. I didn’t want to jeopardize what we are – but I can’t get past you. I mean … just look at you, your smile…”

“The way I sleep, apparently,” Sirius said, grinning coyly. He tipped his face gently into Remus’ touch. “Moony, I had no idea. If I had known…”

“Well, you know now,” Remus said frankly, tracing a thumb brazenly across Sirius lower lip. “So what do you plan to do?”

Sirius crept closer, tipping his mouth towards Remus’ ear. They were both breathless; Remus’ body strained towards Sirius. Tender lips brushed his ear and Sirius murmured, “Let’s go somewhere private and I’ll show you.”

 


End file.
